Review: Mortal Kombat: Shaolin Monks (Xbox)

Several years ago, when it was common to have a chipped Xbox and some burnt discs, me and my girlfriend started playing Shaolin Monks and got to a point where it was evident it was a bad iso and we couldn't advance anymore. Some time later I bought the real deal with the intent of finally beating it. We gave it a try and for some reason we stopped pretty early on. Our memory of why differs so I'm going to go with mine: we got lost (we didn't pay any attention to what the characters were saying and therefore lost track of the objective) and subsequently bored. It would pass a good 10 years before I finally decided to go back to it and give it another try - this time alone. (I'm still together with my girlfriend though!)

Mortal Kombat: Shaolin Monks is a 3D beat 'em up set in the timespan of Mortal Kombat II (a game which also is present in the disc as an unlockable extra). Shang Tsung lures Liu Kang (and/or Kung Lao since it's possible to play this in two player co-op) to Otherworld where the majority of the game takes place and to remain spoiler free I'll sum the story up with "the journey is filled with familiar encounters, predictable twists and turns, and leads up to a bombastic finale in an familiar arena". During the course of the game the player earns XP through pulling off moves and combos with which more moves and combos are unlocked. That's pretty much the jist of it.

"I had a blast trying out different combos and stuff"

I immediately advanced further than we've ever gotten and I had a blast trying out different combos and stuff. I found, however, that the unlockable moves and specials were pretty limited in quantity and I maxed everything out pretty early on - rendering the rest of the XP earned point(hehe)less. There's a lot of secrets (artwork, video clips, unlockable characters and things like that) to find, I found a fair bit but far from everything. The maps are varied and easy enough to navigate, with a few metroidvania elements thrown in there (Reached a point where you can't advance? Try coming back when you've learned new abilities.) and most areas lead up to a a roster character encounter. I had fun through most of it, some moments really showed the game's age and there were some technical issues (sometimes the voiceovers and/or music was played at 10% volume and the controls ignored some of the inputs) but I didn't fire this game up looking for perfection but for some casual fun and Mortal Kombat goodness. On this Shaolin Monks delivers.

"I can absolutely recommend it for fans of the series"

A few hours in I arrived at the final showdown which consists of a three fights long bossrush - and the third and very last boss was an absolute anticlimax. I struggled with him and went to ask the guides - all of which adviced me to keep my distance, use projectiles and go for chip damage. Close combat is mostly out of the picture. I wanted to shine, to put my acquired knowledge of the fighting to the test in the final fight, and instead I had to run around like a coward slowly grinding the boss down like a Souls-cheese. But the last boss is only a few minutes, the rest of the game is awesome (that is; b-movie fun) and I can absolutely recommend it for fans of the series.

Review: Tim Burton's The Nightmare Before Christmas: Oogie's Revenge (Xbox)

October is upon us and I thought I’d play something with a bit of Halloween flair. I chose Oogie’s Revenge (yes, I’m going to call it just that instead of the full title).

It’s a year after the movie that we all know and love, Oogie has found a new way to mess with everyone and wants to be the leader of all holidays. We take the role of Jack Skellington, naturally, to fight Oogie and put things right. This is done by exploring Halloween Town and retrieving a set of holiday doors (the peculiar forest with holiday door-fitted trees, remember?). And it all controls a bit like God of War; 3D platforming with semi-fixed camera angles and hack ’n’ slash fighting.

The first thing I noticed was how authentic Halloween Town felt. It was like walking around in the movie – which is just what I wanted for a game like this. All the beloved characters from the movie are present with different tasks for Jack and in the background different songs from the OST are played where they fit.

"It was like walking around in the movie"

No single game mechanic exceeded on its own, but the sheer variation of the gameplay made up for it nicely. Just as I grew tired of exploring for secrets the game threw a rythm based fight at me, only to follow up with a trivia quiz and then play a cutscene that felt like it came right out of the movie. I was never ever bored when playing this game, and while it can’t be praised for anything especially well crafted it delivers a solid bit of entertainment that looks and feels like the source movie. It’s a perfect "casual Halloween game", I’d say. It’s just a shame it didn’t let me explore any other holiday world (except for a brief visit in my favorite place: Christmas Town), it would’ve made the game fit in during other holidays as well and give it a bit more lenght. As it stands, it’s a nice little game to break out at Halloween – but only at Halloween.

Review: Fable (Xbox)

Here’s one of those ”this is why I got an Xbox”-games that I have never really beaten, but started so many times. I don’t really know why I haven’t played it all the way through because I remember I was utterly impressed with the graphics and the amount of fun stuff to do. Anyway, I’ve beaten it now. Here’s what I think. (Note: I’m skipping the explanation of the formula, if you’re reading this blog you probably already know about the franchise.)

At first I thought Fable was about a vast and unique world to explore. Then I realized the map wasn’t all that big to be honest. So I changed my mind and had Fable pegged as a game with endless choices and possibilities. Then I realized there wasn’t all that much to change. Sure, the story is changing depending on my choices, but not in a lot of ways. It’s more or less ”Do you want to be good or evil? Here’s good and evil quests and things to do.” A or B. So what is it about Fable then, that makes it so appealing? Having played it half-way through multiple times and now finally ALL the way through once, I’d say it’s the immersive setting. It’s the dialogue, the music, the mood of it all!

"It feels like I’m taking part in a old fairytale"

It feels like I’m taking part in a old fairytale (albeit a very grim one from time to time). There’s excitement, there’s sadness, there’s humour, there’s bravery and all the good stuff that makes a great story. My main problem with the game, because I actually have one, is that the storyline is way too short. I went on every side quest I could find and the credits still rolled not 10 hours into it. Granted I didn’t care about most of the demon doors (doors that open when certain more or less cryptic requirements are met) and I had a build that focused on strength/melee so I didn’t expand on my magic abillities (I bet that’s where a lot of grinding and character development takes place). This might have been why it was over so quickly, but even so, the story quests could’ve been a lot more. If you rush things and are a good player I bet you could wrap this game up in under 5 hours.

On the other hand it’s pretty nice with a game that isn’t unrealisticly long. Fable doesn’t overstay its welcome one bit. It just delivers a short but sweet tale of magic, action and revenge. I get to make a few decisions along the way that somewhat tweaks the turn of events and when it’s over I really feel motivated to look up Fable 2. (I’ve already beaten that as well but it was on Xbox 360 so that’s no candidate for review here.)

Review: The Bard's Tale (Xbox)

The Bard’s Tale is a self-aware humorous action RPG with a witty brittish narrator and a randy main character that is only after ”coin and cleavage” as it were. Sounds like a simple concept, right? It is. It’s perhaps even a bit too simple.

The story begins with the Bard sending in a magic rat into a tavern to scare the owner, ”rescue” her from the rat and then recieve… rewards… The things he need to do to get laid and earn the silver snowballs on him and before he know it he’s knee deep into quest after quest over the, rather small, land. Gradually we earn stronger abilities, stronger helpers to summon (through songs, because the gimmick has to make some sort of sense I guess) and after a few hours of fetch quests, peculiar meetings with strange people and a whole lot of senseless killing it dawned on me that this is a pretty repetetive action RPG with only the most basic of components. It feels like one of those ”what if we did this sort of video game, lol”-ideas that shouldn’t have seen the light of day. Not in it’s current form at least.

"I was fed up with the humour and the gameplay but I still had 15 hours to go"

After a handful of hours I was fed up with the humour and the gameplay but I still had 15 hours to go. That’s right. A game that showed me everything it had to offer during the first three hours dragged out to a 20 hour journey. I didn’t care for the Bard or his quest what so ever and I honestly picked it up mainly because I thought it’d be much funnier with more good jokes. But it just didn’t deliver. So once again, I played through a game just so that I could mark it as cleared. Out of duty to my backlog. Not because I wanted to keep playing. It’s a curiousity and a time killer, sure, but I can’t see myself going through it again in the future. It wasn’t very good. A pity.

Review: The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay (Xbox)

Disclaimer: I haven’t seen the movie so I went in to this game without any expectations.

Riddick is a badass. He’s also a caught badass. He’s a prisoner at Butcher Bay and the object of the game is simply to escape, as one would’ve guessed from the title. It’s a first person shooter with emphasis on melee combat, much like the Condemned games. The physics are sluggish, you feel heavy moving around and throwing punches have both timing and planning to it if you want to succeed. If you throw a huge punch and miss your opponent, then you’re open to counters for a few seconds – an opportunity they seldom ignore. Much like the Condemned games. There are weapons in the game but often times you can’t pick them up because they are ID protected only to be used by guards. When you do have the delightful possibillity to wield a firearm it’s a bit tricky to hit your targets unless you stand still and aim carefully. The environments are gritty and dark and psychopaths are lurking in every corner, just waiting to gain the upper hand on you. Much like the Condemn… You get the picture at this point I’m sure.

"It’s actually a really impressive looking game for its age and I’d argue it has grown old with intact integrity."

The frame rate is not the most solid thing in the world, but I guess that’s the trade off they made to have such detailed textures, beautiful lighting and a dusty filthy atmosphere everywhere. I can live with a few dropped frames. It’s actually a really impressive looking game for its age and I’d argue it has grown old with intact integrity. Well, apart from one thing. One glaring thing that makes the game really feel old. The stupid checkpoint system. It’s one of those ”ooh, you don’t need to save, things just saves automatically, what a seamless game this is, wow, cool”-games. I mean for the love of god, I know I’m playing a video game. Give me the option to save when I want to save. Give me a save option in the menu or put out save locations in the game. As it is now, I have to keep an eye out for ”Saving...” that pops up on screen from time to time. Problem is, I’ve had numerous problems with this. I remember clearly how it said ”Saving...” after certain passages only to have me replay the whole section again if I were to turn the game off. It’s never clear when it’s ”safe” to turn off the game and in some cases I had to start almost half an hour back. I kid you not. Half an hour worth of progress just vanishes from time to time, even though you pass multiple ”Saving...”-sequences. So there’s a constant fear of losing progress whenever the gaming session is coming to an end. Should I stop here? Or here? Or…

Other than that it’s mostly a great game. Once I accepted the flawed checkpoint system I had a complete blast with The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay. Sure, there were times I was completely lost and had to consult a walkthrough to get some hints and pointers, but that’s to be expected from a maze like open ended stealth game when you have as little patience as I do (I have ADD).

Now I’m almost tempted to watch the movie.

Review: Halo: Combat Evolved (Xbox)

Oh, so Master Chief did talk after all? I thought he was a silent hero… Well, I never did care much for the Halo series. In fact, I only got half way on Halo and beat Halo 2 on a burned disc off of a chipped Xbox ”back in the day” and played the later installations of pure duty. Anyway, where was I going with this? Oh yeah, I played Halo. On my new original Xbox (I recieved a clear cased one as a gift from a friend recently). My old Xbox has been broken for many months now, hence the lack of Xbox content on this blog. Well, not anymore my friends. Let’s take a brief look at one of the most important FPS games in later years.

"Spaceships're boring."

The Flood's boring. The Covenant's boring. Spaceships're boring. Lasers and plasma's boring. I'm an iron, bullets and blood kind of guy. I like my weapons to feel heavy and the bullets to sound off like they exploded. The ”pew pew” side of shooting is… not for me. It’s just so weak, so bland and so boring. That’s why I didn’t care for this game’s story or setting. What I did care about, a great deal, was the game’s execution. I really appreciate what Halo did. Putting consoles on the FPS map once and for all, and paved the way to a gloriously successful genre (outside the PC realm where it oviously already flourished). It’s almost unbelievable how Halo manages to chug along on a comfortable 30 frames per second during most of the game, only dropping a few frames during the very extreme moments. I understand the impact and I’m completely convinced this was the game to open the developers' eyes towards consoles as a viable FPS game platform. But again, the story, theme and setting is utterly lost on me. I yawned through the whole thing. But I still enjoyed playing it. The gameplay is just that satisfactory. I would use Halo more like an example in game development.

Anyway, the game ended with me blowing up some stuff I guess. I jumped straight in to Halo 2 to continue my journey because no matter how much I didn’t enjoy the space side of this shooter, I loved the controls and the technicals behind it. Not amused, but amused. Ehm. Yeah.

Review: Colin McRae Rally 04 (Xbox)

Remember when rally games was not filled to the brim with "attitude", dubstep and energy drinks? Colin McRae Rally 04 is a pure rally experience that might seem a bit boring to some, but awesome for me. Instead of extreme pwning it is only about driving around minding your own business on rally tracks through forests and mountains. There is no music, no cool lifestyle menues, no edge, no MTV complex. It is just me and nature. Well, and a rally car.

This title screams pure rally and seems to nail almost everything that makes rally games appealing to me. Long nice tracks, lengthy championships and a great sense of realism without unnecessary bells and whistles. Being spoiled with later titles like the Dirt series, as far as the feeling of driving goes, I initially thought the cars were a bit slippery. There was barely any grip to speak of even under perfect conditions. I got used to it pretty fast though and half way through the game I was driving like crazy through dense forests, narrow mountain trails and treacherous mud tracks.

"I really can't imagine playing anything else than Colin McRae Rally 04 at this point."

The driving feels great, there is always times to improve and nothing gets in the way. Just pop the game in and off you go. I can not tell you if this game is like driving a real rally car and competing in a championship because I do not even have a drivers license. I am only coming at this from a general gamer's perspective, and one that is not very in to driving games as a general rule of thumb. But once every blue moon I go for a virtual drive, and I really can't imagine playing anything else than Colin McRae Rally 04 at this point. I have found my go to driving game. Pure rally bliss!

Review: Mercenaries (Xbox)

When I play this game I feel overwhelmed, helpless, clueless, bored and lost. I can not for the life of me understand the ratings it got at the time (mostly eights and nines out of ten). The world is ugly, uninteresting and very lifeless. The vehicles have no feeling in them what so ever, all the missions are "go there, capture that person" which keeps my motivation at an all time low. On the cover I can read "go anywhere, blow up anything", but as soon as I got myself seated in a tank I discovered that I could not even run down a tree. Or a bush. Or a two feet fence. There just is no speed, no fluid gameplay and no clear oversight. I worked my ass off the first couple of sessions to become friends with the Chinese faction, and then I had to do work for someone else and then everyone hated me again. The very few vehicles I meet out on the road mostly want to kill me, and seems to be endlessly spawned once you had enough and try to take them down.

"Yeah, thanks for nothing Pandemic."

I have played many of these kind of games, I love Grand Theft Auto, Saints Row and Just Cause. I have done this before. But never have I felt so understimulated at the same time as frustratingly confused. Why is the simplest tasks in the game the very hardest to do? Needless to say, I really struggled with this one. After maybe five hours of playing this mess I caught myself playing the game just to being able to write this review. It felt like such a horrendous waste of time I contemplated just throwing the game in the trash. This gets no money at all online (I bought it for £0.01) so why bother trying to sell it?

Anywhere you go there are roadblocks and all kinds of stuff in the way for your vehicle. It is quite frankly mindboggling how a game hellbent on freedom prevents you from going anywhere without making it a pain. I gave Mercenaries a fair and thorough chance to shine and develop some nice characteristics in about five long sittings - but I now just feel empty. Yeah, thanks for nothing Pandemic.

Review: Far Cry: Instincts (Xbox)

When I first heard of Far Cry: Instincts, I thought it was Far Cry "but for Xbox". Oh boy was I wrong! It has a storyline of its own, new abillities, a lot of extra material and a complete and versatile level editor. A lot of bang for the buck, so to speak.

Jack Carver is one unlucky camper. He manages to yet again find himself in the middle of a big showdown where he has to adapt to the circumstances to be able to survive and escape in one piece. This time around he gradually, with a little help from a mysterious serum, evolves into something more than human and before you know it you are throwing your enemies high up in the air and running almost as fast as some of the games many vehicles. This may sound offputting to some, I know I for one like my first person shooters to be plain and more about aiming skills than a circus, but it does add to the story and it just works. The abilities are introduced in a slow pace so that you can explore them at your own speed, and they really help out a lot once you are comfortable with them. I also felt here is where the seed to Crysis and that series' "ability wheel" was planted. I also see a lot of what would later become Far Cry 2 in Far Cry: Instincts, as far as the level layouts goes.

"sure enough my favorite template is the tropical one"

As with the first installation of Far Cry, Instincts soon changes the scenery from tropical island to run down areas and a lot of indoor action. From colorful and alive surroundings to dark gritty corridors and one generic industry landscape after another. I did not like it the first time and I did not like it now. That is why I really love the level editor that is included on the disc. From here I can create my perfect multiplayer maps with full control over every little aspect - and sure enough my favorite template is the tropical one. Since the Live service for the original Xbox is permanently shut down there are no user made content to download and play around with, but I imagine it must have been so much fun when the game first came out. Such a shame I did not try it out until now.

So yeah, in spite of a visually boring last third of the time spent in the story mode and somewhat stiff controls in some regards I would say this is one of the best first person shooters I have ever played on Xbox. It certainly beats Halo, that is for sure.

Review: Call of Duty 2: Big Red One (Xbox)

Big Red One is a spin off on Call of Duty 2, exclusive for the home consoles. Instead of the regular mish mash of storyline telling it focuses on one single company, namely Big Red One. Is it Call of Duty? Yes it is. Is the gameplay intact? Yes it is. Is it one of those generic World War II-shooters? Yes it is.

I for one did not get all that in to the "WW2-games" that ruled the earth a few years ago. This is probably why I found this particular game to be very intriguing. It has a lot of intense action, it is very fast paced, it has engaging and believable interactions between the characters and it is over all a very polished and fun experience. Like most of the Call of Duty installments, that is. I am not what you would call an Call of Duty-fan but I do think the series have a lot of sweet moments and I still buy the CoD-games coming out for the PS3 and 360 nowadays.

"One of the very first things that bothered me with this game though, were the controls."

One of the very first things that bothered me with this game though, were the controls. Or the button layout to be more precise. I have to choose between just a select few predetermined setups and of course they all have some irritating faults. There is, for exampe, no way to put the reload on X and the "aim down the sights" on L at the same time. If I choose to have "aim down the sights" on L, then I have to have grenades on X - and reload on one of those fiddly buttons called Black and White - which I never seem to find fast enough with my thumb. That way I throw grenades everytime I try to reload since I am very used to reload with X. If I put reload on X, then L becomes grenade, so naturally I throw a grenade every time I want to aim down the sights. It is a mess.

"But it has a intense and immersive atmosphere to the point that when I was not playing I only thought about playing."

While the story is not really all that interesting, it is easy to see why Call of Duty became so enormous. It has got tight gameplay, responsive controls and it quite honestly feels pretty up to par with even todays games in ways. Do not get me wrong, there are a few classic older bugs like characters getting stuck and stops the game from progressing, a few minor things like a certain weapon not being able to reload properly and so on... But it has a intense and immersive atmosphere to the point that when I was not playing I only thought about playing. It can be had for dirt cheap, it is a must have!

Review: Counter-Strike (Xbox)

Counter-Strike for the Xbox had some really nice things going for it. Not only was it, by the time, the most pleasant looking version out there of the popular Half-Life mod, it even sported a few exclusive maps and gave console gamers a great arena to compete on, Xbox Live. How does it compare to todays Counter-Strike games?

Understandably, not too well. The graphics is grainy and way too dark, the controls are a bit stiff and the animations of the players leave a lot to be desired. Other than that it still is a pretty good game. I mean, it is after all Counter-Strike, and not a slimmed down version mind you. It has a lot of maps which all are a bit tweaked and polished, the controls work great for the platform (in other words; with a Xbox controller) and there is almost no loading times what so ever. It loads and runs extremely fast and there is no lag or freak outs in any way. With plenty of options in the menus (such as various difficulty settings, both custom rules and soundtrack) the matches can be set up to give almost everyone a suitable experience.

"If you're down with a controller instead of keyboard and mouse for this type of game I would say it's a must have."

So for a Xbox game it is packed with intense action and awesome gameplay. If you're down with a controller instead of keyboard and mouse for this type of game I would say it's a must have. Since the Live service for original Xbox games was discontinued on March 11 2010 there is no online matches to be found for this installment of the Counter-Strike series but that is okay. There are bots with a wide range of difficulty levels on the disc and that is enough to have some fun.

Review: XIII (Xbox)

I bought this one for 1 SEK, which is about $0.15 and I can not really explain why it did not go for more since it actually is pretty decent. Ubisoft based this celshaded comic book style FPS on an old french-belgian magazine from the 80s - and the story roughly follows the fifteen first issues. It all starts with a man waking up with a bad case of amnesia and a tattoo (XIII). The president has been assassinated and the whole world is convinced this poor man did it. Okay, it is a unusually boring setting but hey - it might get more interesting as we go along.

I am just going to say it as it is. In regards to the story it does not get better. The whole game is about figuring out who you are, what the tattoo means and who else are involved in this mess. I was not interested in the beginning and I did not become interested during the course of the game. The thing that made me come back for more was instead the feeling of playing a diamond in the rough. Behind pretty bad controls and flat out broken AI there is quite the amount of fun little things to do and see. When you get a perfect headshot there is close ups of the bullets path and penetration in the form of comic book frames, all the explosions and loud noices is accompanied by the words "BANG" and "POW" etc. The mix between stealth, puzzle and pure action was very pleasant, not much unlike Perfect Dark.

"If I am spotted I have to start all over again even if it means having to watch a long and tedious cutscene for the fourth time."

XIII's biggest strength is in my opinion the comic book theme together with how smooth it runs. That is, the surface. And I can feel that a game from 2003 has to impress more than just visually. Ubisoft fails with the fire fights, it is worse than repetitive and harmless. The stealth levels are frustrating due to the inconsistency of the AI. Sometimes they see me through walls and sometimes they can not see me even if I stand right before them. If I am spotted I have to start all over again even if it means having to watch a long and tedious cutscene for the fourth time. This makes it feel like trial and error in some parts - and that means that the tension often turns into boredom.

The ending is a cliffhanger if I ever saw one (it even says "To be continued..." on the screen) and when I instinctively think "no" I accept the fact that this game did not turn out to be the diamond I was hoping for. I would on the other hand like to try it out online (or at least local multiplayer) but I do not know if I ever will make that happen.